The Stupid Idiot
by Bananawings72
Summary: Guess who got on Kaiba's bad side? Do you know? ABANDONED! up for adoption!
1. Pain, Plans, and the Hospital

I don't own Yu-Gi-Oh, and never will (Boo-hoo!) This also go's for my other story(Seta Kaibelle?)

The Stupid Idiot:

**Chapter One:**

**Pain, Plans and the Hospital**

Mokuba sighed and turned away from the window of the limousine. His brother, Seto Kiba was hard at work, as always, on his laptop. "Come on Seto, look out the window, talk, do SOMETHING other than work on that laptop just for one moment, PLEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEE?" Mokuba said, using his best little brother voice. "Not now Mokuba, I'm working" Seto said, irritated. Just then, they both heard a screech, then a shout of pain from the driver.

The last thing Seto heard before passing out (which was caused by and injury, not fear) was the sound of his brother screaming.

4 Hours later

Seto looked sadly at his brother asleep in a hospital bed. He'd never told anyone this, but he secretly feared hospitals and all their clueless docters. "_Mokuba's doomed!_ " He thought sadly. He, Seto, had only broken his arm in the car crash. The driver was killed instantly, and Mokuba had his leg cut right off by a stray piece of flying metal and was knocked into a coma. Seto had just paid a lot of money for the local docters to find a sergon on short notice to sow the leg back on. Seto thought angrily "_If that silly surgeon doesn't save Mokuba's leg, I'll"_ "Seto Kiba, we found a surgeon for Mokuba." A young nurse said timidly, interrupting Seto's train of thoughts.

30 Minuets earlier

Yami Bakura had just finished an inward fight with his 'weaker' side. He now had total control. (By the way, from now on I will just call him Bakura.) He wandered down the street, "Now how can I take over the world?" He murmured to himself, "HOW?" Suddenly he spotted a news update no a T.V. in one of the shop windows. "This is a news update, with Leslie Roberts: duhduhduh duh duh duhduhduhduh duh duh Hi! I'm Leslie Roberts ("_NO DUH!" Bakura thought_) and I'm just here to tell you that the younger Kibah, of Kibah Corp. is in the hospital waiting for an available surgeon…. No-one knows why yet, but if I were a surgeon, I would definitely go!" "Hey I GOT IT!" Bakura shouted, forgetting for a moment where he was. Then, ignoring the stares he was getting from other people, he skittered off to get to the hospital.

AT THE HOSPITAL

Kibah frowned at the surgeon. He didn't like the way all the surgeon's clothing was keeping him from seeing the actual person. "_No matter_," He thought, "_As long as he does a good job on Mokuba."_

Bakura smirked from behind his mask. The clothing had worked! Seto hadn't recognized him at all! He could now get close enough to sabotage Seto so he can't stop him from completing the rest of his plan! As he was led to the operating room, another thought struck him: "_I DON"T KNOW HOW TO OPERATE!"_.

_Poor Mokuba! _


	2. Evil, or just plain stupid?

Hi! I just wanted to apologize for spelling Kaiba wrong… I seriously thought it was spelt Kibah! I also wanted to apologize for this story taking soooooooo long, I'm not used to writing a story with chappies and no due date! I also wanted to apologize for my first chappie being so short. I'll try to make them longer, promise. -- OKAY enough with the whining from me, LETS GET ON WHITH THE STORY…(ahem) I mean, enjoy!

The Stupid Idiot

Ch 2: **Evil, or just Plain Stupid**

Bakura sweated as he walked down the hall, wondering what to do. _"I don't even know what an operation is_!" He thought feverishly, "_HEY, wait a minute! Isn't Joey some kind of doctor?" _

**FLASHBACK **

Joey ran up to Bakura. "Hey, hey, guess what!" He cried out. "What." Bakura said in a flat tone. "I'm a SCIENTIST! I just got my degree, and I owe it all to those books you gave me for X-mass!" Joey said, jumping up and down in excitement the ones that said Science For Dummies, and How To Talk: A Morons Guide?" Bakura said in disbelief, "I thought you would NEVER get them!". "Yeah, well, I did, and I just came for some advice, seeing how you're a genius and all." Joey said sarcastically. "Maybe you're not so hopeless after all!" Bakura muttered, then he cleared his voice, "Well, you see, to be a scientist you need to know that EVERYTHING has a meaning to it. Like E.R. means in science: Every Rate" (authors note: I was recently studying this in class. It is for in a cell and it means Ectoplasmic Rectilium.) "Really," Joey shouted, "COOL! I thought it meant you were mad: errrrrrrrrrrrrrr! Oh, Oh I know one: LOVELoads Of Vroomvroom Energy, And MAJIC Mad Angry Joking Icky Crazy! GAY

**Abruptly End Flashback **

Well that was over informing! Bakura stopped for a second, "Wait a minute! Books! I just need to get a book on surgery!" He quickly made an excuse that he forget something vital at home, he rushed out of the hospital, grabbed a book in a book store, and rushed back.

SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEETTTTTTTTTTOOOOOOO

Kaiba frowned as he watched the surgeon run out of the hospital murmuring that he forgot something, looking as if his but was on fire. "What's with this guy?" Kaiba thought in annoyance, "Everything he needs is in the operating room, I made sure of it. Hmmmmm…HE BETTER KNOW HOW TO OPERATE VERY VERY VERY AWSOMELY GREAT SO NO ONE CAN EVEN TELL HIS LEG HAD BEEN SEPERATED, OR I'LL CRUSH HIM LIKE A GRAPE ABOUT TO BE GRAPE JUICE!" Kaiba sighed, then took deep breaths to calm himself down. After all, what could happen?

AAAAAAAAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLOOOOOOOOOOOTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

Bakura shuffled past Seto quietly. He hadn't liked the look in Seto's eye… it reminded him of the look Kaiba always gives Yugi when he's being beaten. The IMGOINGTOKILLYOU look. He ran inside the operating room, hoping not to be seen. Once inside, he opened the book as he walked up to the seemingly sleeping Mokuba. Mokuba had a plastic thing on his mouth, and all these strange wires were stuck to him.

"_Well, first of, I'm going to get rid of these meaningless wires! They're in the way and look way to tacky." _Bakura thought. And he did just that, pulling mercilessly at poor Mokuba till all the wires were bulled out of him. "O.K., now what does that stupid book say…. Ah here we go, _Table of contents:_

_1 Hard and complicated side that you'll never get,…………………………………………1_

_2Easy side for morons…………………………………………………………………………900_

"Hmmm," Bakura said thoughtfully, "I think I'll take the side for my geniusness!"

And with that he turned to page 1 (_Hard and complicated side that you'll never get)._

"Ok… Let's see, _Moveablate the plandorspholeum magnoleum (or tandronion)_

to 9 torgate monsphanium and monberatium salphate nameron the plandorspholeum magnoleum (or tandronion) postionalinggone andiron. Then extradited sewofeon to plasmewrate from fartheron Bacterial langerontgeum.

_**Definitions of above words (And the words in the definitions):**_

_Movablate- mondreia condrian tonthar…………_

HOLY&$&! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO UNDERSTAND THIS! AGH!" Bakura accidentally shouted. "Ops, sorry sorry sorry sorry sorry" Bakura whispered when Kaiba came in, glaring at him, "I'll get right to work, promise!" Bakura said, frightened. Kaiba then gave him another look and left the room.

UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUHHHHHHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!

Kaiba frowned one of his deepest frowns. "What is that baboon up to?" He thought, "The loser should have been done by now! If it weren't for the fact that there were no other surgeons in the area, I would have KILLED, I mean fired him by now…"

BBBBBBBBBBBBBBAAAAAAAAKKKKKKKKKUUUUURRRRRRRAAAAAAAA

Bakura got back to the book, this time going to the "Easy side for morons". "Just so that it doesn't take as long," He said to comfort himself: (Easy side for morons) _HI! You are an idiot! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Here are the instructions that you, a moron, will need very badly. **Note: you may still fail in this operation if you are extreeeeeeeemmmmmmmllllllllllyyyyyyyy stupid!**_("No worries there" Bakura said in relief,) ( NOT!) _Now you take the severed limb, and attach to the mouth of the wound. Then you sow it on with A NEEDLE AND STRING! Clean up using peaces of clean cloth covered in DISENFECTANT and your done!_

"Hmmm," Bakura said, closing the book, "So I Take the severed limb…. Huh? OH! The leg! Then I attach to the mouth…

-----------------------------------An Hour Later--------------------------------------------------

Bakura stepped back to admire his work. "Perfect!" He said, clapping his hands excitedly, "Kaiba will be soooooo glad!

KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIBBBBBBBBBBAAAA

"Mr. Kaiba, the surgeon is done!" Kaiba sat up, surprised and annoyed. "What took him so long?" He grumbled as he walked up to the door. When Kaiba walked inside, he was stunned into silence for once in his life: O.O There, lying on the operating table was Mokuba (poor, poor, Mokuba!) x.x. He was still attached to the heart monitor, which was going at an unhealthy slow rate, but was no longer hucked up to his breathing machine (sorry, I have no idea what it's called.)! But these small factors are not what shocked the tough, unfeeling business man to the bone, no, what shocked him was that Mokuba…He

….he….. had……. His…… leg…..attached….. to ………… his……. .his……. MOUTH!

And the surgeon just sat there smiling at him!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! YOU ARE DEAD!"Kibah yelled, sooo angry that he felt as if he was about to explode! Bakura shrank against the wall. But just then, a sound stopped everyone in his or her tracks. A sound so horrible, that no one in that room will ever forget it.. (Well, Bakura probably will) BBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEp BBBBBBBBEEEEEEEEEEEEEP

Beep

Beep

Beep

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

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Mokuba was dead.

So, How did you like that? Wow, I feel soooo much better now that I wrote that. Whew. But I feel so sorry for Mokuba! Ah! I just realized that Bakura is probably not going to survive he next chappie cause of a certain Kaiba factor…. Or will he? Plleeaasse! Pleas Please review! Ac is such a bugger head! She keeps bragging of how both of her stories have more reviews than mine! (my fault, but still) waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa! Anyways, hope you liked it! -Ar

Kaiba


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